In a world of 7 billion people and counting, with hundreds of millions of books, blogs, web pages, essays, articles and poems you might wonder if you even matter in a world saturated with so many options. The conclusion is that even with more and more people writing the answer is still yes. You matter because you are here. When we consider that we will never know the answer to the mystery of our human existence the best we can do it is to celebrate, help each other, and make a difference. We make a difference by serving as an example to others and to live into the privilege of what it means to be alive.
Scientists have figured out that the odds of anyone actually being alive and surviving birth is about four hundred trillion to one = 1: 400,000,000,000.All day long we each have ideas that could change the world, or change our life or help hundred or thousands of people, but we forget how extraordinary we are. Another interesting discovery is that each human being shares practically the same DNA code. Practically. Not fully. The code is slightly different for each person, which means that even considering our existence on the smallest molecular level we are truly unique and original. I find this extremely impressive. This means that there will never, ever, ever, be another you. Ever. That won’t stop you from making dumb mistakes, or cheer you up when the chips are down, but for me it offered the ray of light I needed.
When I was 46 I was at a standstill. I had suffered from illnesses that almost killed me, grief from best friends dying, a physical injury that left my dominant arm immobile for 18 months, and a horrible break up that broke my heart. For about two years I couldn’t muster any will to do pretty much anything. I fell into a knock-out depression, put on meds, and thought I would never feel better again, never fall in love again, never make any decent money again, and never write again. As things in my head got darker and darker I finally thought about ending my life. Who would care? I was single with no kids and didn’t see the point to life other than it being a big facade for the inevitable destruction of our physical bodies. I felt duped. Hopeless doesn’t even begin to explain how I felt. I felt like a black hole if a black hole had feelings.
The question, “Why do I matter?” Kept creeping into my head. I wasn’t famous or rich. I wasn’t a mother, inventor or a doctor. I was just a writer, teacher and coach. I was just a tiny fish in an gigantic ocean of existence.
“It’s not the size of the pond, but the hustle in the fish.” — Charlamagne Tha God
Being alone, isolated and depressed led me to one of two options. Sink or swim. I had to try to find meaning in my life, and more than that I wanted to feel passionate about writing again. I asked myself, “what do I bring to the table that is unique?” The answer was staring me in the face (literally), but I had yet to notice the obvious.
I started to create a journal of things that would light me up. My dog, walking in nature, watching standup comedy, rock climbing, being close to friends, sex, rock and roll, dancing, and writing. I also realized that there were things I did that annoyed the hell out of some people. I decided to celebrate those too. I talk a lot. I’m loud and boisterous. I seem to have no filter when I tell personal stories. I eat with my hands any chance I get. I’m a bit bossy.
All of these little facets of my personality lined me up to offer the world something incredibly valuable. I realized for the first time in my life that just by being me I had struck gold. Even my little negative traits were probably something people might look at for inspiration.
As a friend of mine says, “If you can’t fix, it feature it.”
Feature: I talk a lot. More than most people. You can’t shut me up. You know how some people can never find the right words to express themselves? Not me. Not only do I love expressing myself down to every detail, I also get excited about almost any subject be it good or bad, happy, or sad. I love having the gift of gab and the ability to communicate, share, observe, laugh, and find big connections in seemingly ordinary things. It goes on and on. I seem to have a never ending stream of words coming from my mouth. Sometimes it annoys the hell out of people whereas others love my detailed storytelling ability.
The first thing that brought me back to writing was to understand what life really meant to me and how lucky I was to be alive in the 21st Century! It wasn’t about material items or prestige, life for me was about experiences and sharing those experiences. The internet is a miraculous thing when it’s not sucking the life out of you. If you let it, the internet brings you joy, exposure, and the ability to share your life with millions of others.
I finally realized the point of life is to live it, enjoy it, and share it. Life is about connection. And for me connection means making a difference. I believe we are on earth to help each other. If we were meant to do everything alone or live an insular life we would have been placed on the planet alone. I have no doubt that one of the single struggles of our society is that we have been programed to think we have to do everything by ourselves, but this isn’t true.
We are born to expand, connect, and help those around us. We are all having a human experience and we are all learning as we go. What better way to help others than to share our stories, thoughts, and words. As obvious as this seems it finally became clear to me why each of us matter. Connection and inspiration.
How lucky we are to live at a time were we are connected globally. As global citizens we now have more power than ever to experience connection and witness how our presence in the world makes a difference, not only to those physically around us, but also to those that find us online or read our work.
Bottomline: you matter. You are 100% unique, alive, and have the ability to set an example and when you set an example you make a difference. So if you’re a writer and wondering if you should write that blog, book, or essay remember it’s a wonder that you are here at all. Telling your story is what the world wants. Get to it!
