Is your relationship getting in the way of your writing?

Posted on Oct 21, 2020

Is your relationship getting in the way of your writing?
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After ten months of the most severe writing resistance ever, I struggled to figure out the root cause of my writer’s block. It didn’t feel like writer’s block. It felt like my spirit was on lockdown. Between the pandemic, fires that almost destroyed my home, election depression and learning my cousin had died of Covid, I was starting to fall into the default mode of “does anything really matter?” syndrome. When I would sit down to write I would experience a combination of anxiety, depression and fear. Then I had a really terrible break up with someone I cared for deeply and would have thought we would be able to be close friends, regardless of the breakup since we had been having a rocky time and both of us agreed that it was time to move on. Let’s just say it was an ugly misunderstanding that I’m still processing. I was in such shock I started googling, “How to get over your ex”, because I was in a really bad place emotionally. I couldn’t get him out of my mind, but it felt oddly familiar. Like I had been in this situation before. I realized I had to take responsibility for a pattern that was showing up in almost all of my relationships. Then I stumbled on fascinating information on Youtube that changed my life, and offered me a spontaneous healing. Suddenly my writing started to take off! My book is almost done and I realized one of the greatest resistance styles is having your relationship get in the way of your creativity, which happens a lot. The real challenge is to face the fact that if a pattern is showing up, it’s not anyones “fault” it’s a pattern. Watch this video to find out if your relationship is getting in the way of your writing and see if you suffer from the same kind of resistance.

41 Comments

  1. Been there – experience the same resistance.

  2. Totally. Grief over breakup and resistance is coming from thoughts he will judge me for what I write. (Not about him, more of spiritual nature, channeling information and sharing from a Near Death Experience

  3. Me too! Thank you for being vulnerable.

  4. Crazy

  5. Insanity

  6. YUP

  7. Mom thing?

  8. Always!

  9. It’s okay though. You are learning with each stepping stone

  10. How ironic as this is what you told me when you were reading my book about me

  11. These chapters are the pages of our lives that make us interesting to read

  12. I hope this encourages you. I met my husband at 18, married 18 months later, and are still married 48 years later. There are good men out there who commit to working on a lifelong balance relationship. Good luck.

  13. Have you fallen in deep love with yourself

  14. You can tell by your face. Woo hoo!

  15. From

  16. Great! Good for you

  17. Oh, the drama of it all…was addicted to it for many years…

  18. Harville Hendrix authored FINDING & KEEPING the LOVE YOU WANT – it is all about these patterns! Great book to break free and choose better

  19. Harville is incredible. And so are you!.

  20. When you are whole within yourself you attack someone who is whole.. And if issues arise, because they will.. It doesn’t shake you to your core…

  21. Omg. Wake up anger…what a spirit killer

  22. Suffocating when someone clings

  23. Great program!

  24. Scary

  25. Great fright novel right there

  26. My problem too, I “let them” get in the way of my writing.

  27. Run

  28. Sometimes we just don’t know what we don’t know

  29. …and it’s never too late…

  30. Dawn. This sounds good!! Will watch the replay. I’m still working work.

  31. Dear Past Self Dawn,

    I’m sorry that it took me this long to see that I have been setting us up for failure.
    The love of your life is not any man from your past, the love of your life is yourself.
    I’m sure your father didn’t mean to create such a deep wound, if he were alive he would say,
    “Hey kid, I love you, get away from guys like me. I am not the healthy guy, I’m the guy who couldn’t walk away from the booze and I made a lot of mistakes, but one thing I did right was you. I’m proud of you and I love you.”

    So dearest Dawn it’s time to let go of the past and let go of all the stories you made up about falling in love. It’s time for you to step into a new life, a new you, and to forgive yourself. Forgive your parents, and forgive the men who let you down. You made the choices, and the only power you have is your own behavior. Take the high road and let’s start over. I love you more than I can express.

  32. Dear beautiful Bettym I know how much you have struggled, I know how much you have said and keep saying you love to write, and you, yourself, have wondered how come if you enjoy writing that much, you denied yourself the gift and pleasure of just sitting down with pen and paper and let those words that are springing out of you be placed in words…. i know you have enjoyed that since you learned to write, i am glad you finally decided to put yourself first and stop finding excuses which you called reasons to not to write, you even had the need to eat, to make a phone call, to help someone, anything in order to avoid that powerful moment to let your heart out into words, which you so much love….i am so happy to see you now taking the time to just do that, to put yourself first, you even have taught that to love others you need to love yourself first, and if you denied yourself what your heart longs for, you are not being loving enough to that sweet, creative and powerful little girl that was screaming to come out, and you kept pushing her down, and yelling at her she had not right to do what she loves, giving her lots of apparently

  33. even if feels so incomplete, i have loved sharing with you whatever i write, it halps me let go of fear of being seen >*

  34. Thank you Dawn

  35. this applies to relationships with bad bosses too.

  36. Leslie Dear Girl,Busy being busy is pure distraction from the traction you gain & then lose because your allow your energy to skitter & scatter like light over water. While helping others in their path you have stumbled & tripped over the stones in your own path. Let down the heavy load of what you take on as responsibility. It’s not yours! Over investing without a return is not the way forward. You are more than enough & braver than you realize. Take your time back. It’s yours. It’s your life. It’s time to look yourself straight in the eye right down into the heart to love yourself the way you have loved other. The pen is your heart & soul

  37. Like that you’re digging in to resistance. I think having awareness of when we’re being resistant is super important. If you want to grow, you gotta keep pushing in to that resistance, no? Keep it up now, ya hear!?

  38. Welcome to the realization! Yay! you are on the right path. Many Blessings to you Dawn!

  39. Im sorry you went through this but this will help you to grow so much. From a fellow New Yorker. Blessings to You

  40. Thanks for sharing this Dawn. I choose to be single so I can work on myself and write, so am fortunate do not have relationship distractions.

  41. Wow Dawn! At least we know you are human! Thank you for sharing and being so open and vulnerable with us. This was such an eye opener. Never considered distractions from relationships, caring for kids, etc to be a resistance style. And don’t get me started on when you said it’s not about that person, what! We are trying to heal old wounds, what!! I love how hearing about someone else’s experience makes you realize things about yourself.

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